Kids And Funeral Services
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The funeral will have a long-term impact on the child, whether he attends or not. Attending without appropriate education, information, and support can leave a child confused and fearful. Not attending can isolate a child and often leads to regret and resentment later.

Children should be given the opportunities to:

• Choose level of participation they are comfortable with and give support.
• Not be pressured into making a decision based on parent's needs.
• Funerals do not have to be scary or mysterious. Children need clear expectations of what will happen.
• Use age appropriate language ( Polar bears- poll bearers).
• Permission to feel and information on appropriate ways of behaving, not boundaries but guidelines.

Choices About Participation:

• Attend services (young children should be accompanied by another adult so parents can attend to their own needs).
• Attend visitation, if not actual service. May prefer private moments. Teens may wish to be left alone while younger children may find it comforting to have someone with them.
• May wish to give a gift of cherished item for the "journey". Drawings, letters, clothes, stuffed animals or other treasured tokens of themselves.
• Other children may wish to participate in service by writing something or reading a favorite poem or singing etc.

Questions Kids Have Asked:

• How does a dead person breathe?
• What about winter.. will they be cold? Raining...wet?
• Where are their feet?
• Does it hurt to be buried? Cremated?
• If Heaven is up there, why do we put them in a box down there? How do they get up to Heaven?
• What do dead people eat?
• Are there birthdays in Heaven? Is GOD nice?

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