Grief Rituals

HALos recognizes that the value of creating rituals is to help individuals remember their loved ones in loving, healing ways, honoring their memory and to acknowledge the continued importance of the loved ones who have died. HALos has compiled a running list of ritual ideas in an attempt to help you create a ritual that will have the most meaning and healing significance to you and your family.

According to Elaine Child's novel, author of Good Grief Rituals, a ritual can be as simple as lighting a candle or filling a vase with flowers or thinking a special thought. In the ritual, you create a small event in order to reflect bigger events in your life. A grief ritual will allow you to move energy and experience a transformation of your relationship to the lost one. If you are a widow, a widower, have lost a lover, a pet, or a dear friend; if you have made a major change in your life- lost or gained a job, moved to a new home, or whatever the loss- rituals will serve you throughout your life in helping you to deal with the feelings aroused by these events. We have little choice about grief; we are going to be facing it no matter how our life unfolds. If we have the life skills to do this with grace, we will be happier.

~~HALos Ideas To Memorialize Or Ritualize Your Loved One~~

Type Memorial Service: Make copies of any poetry that was read at the memorial service and send them to any friends or family members that were not able to attend the service.

Visit Memorial Site: Flowers, small stuffed animals or statues can be placed at the memorial site ( such as the location of the Vietnam Wall ) or site of the accident. To date this may be the only thing that I haven't done yet but I want to take something to the site where my son drowned.

Visit Your Loved One's Grave Site: Some cemeteries are very good about allowing small items to be placed on the base of the head stone. When winter comes, these small gifts and symbolic items may be placed in your memorial box or trunk. Items that have been placed on my son's grave site range from a small stuffed frog to an angel figurine.

Choose A Special Remembering Place: If ashes have been scattered and there is no body, or if a loved one is buried in another state choosing and marking a special tree with a yellow ribbon can give you a marked place to go and remember.

Newspaper remembrances: This is another way to display a photo or poetry to acknowledge your loved one's birth date or death date. Place a memorial in your local newspaper as this can be done on a yearly basis. If you don't write poetry, involve another family member, locate a poem that touched your heart that someone may have emailed to you or inquire at the newspaper to see if they have a book of sentiments for you to choose from.

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